How can I succeed in college? I’ve always been a bad, lazy student?
September 7, 2010 by TheRainMaker
Filed under Securitizations
Question by hazelwish: How can I succeed in college? I’ve always been a bad, lazy student?
I’m in my fourth year at community college, and I don’t think I’ll be leaving for a while. My problem is that I’m just not doing a great job. I think I already know the issue: From grade school to high school, I was somewhat lazy, a huge daydreamer, and I just didn’t want to study at all. Although my mom and stepdad would get angry with me for failing a class or not doing a project, they didn’t actually discipline me enough for my laziness. Then in high school, I was put on an IEP course (with “at-risk students,” although I don’t think you could call me “at-risk” because I was actually a “good girl”) and I basically graduated because I had extra help. I never had to study at all on my own.
Well, I was thrown into the “real” world and I suck in college. I’m not as bad as I was when I first started (I failed pretty much every class) but I’m still not great enough. I just can’t seem to study or pay attention very long, or absorb everything when reading textbook. Every semester I tell myself, “I’m going to do better THIS time around. I want to get straight A’s this semester!” I’m very focused the first weeks, but then suddenly, between work and family, it’s all loaded up on me and I can’t do it all at once in a short amount of time, and I end up doing a half-assed job in each class. At the end of the semester I don’t remember anything I learned from the classes.
It makes me feel stupid and a failure when I do this, because I know that most people work 40+ hours a week, take 21 credit hours and still manage to get A’s and B’s, yet I only scrape by and get a C in classes that should be easy, like history or public speaking. I even withdrew from an English class because I didn’t turn in two major papers and I would’ve failed without them. I don’t actually LEARN anything. Basically, I have to make up for almost 12 years of being just an OK student who scraped by. I don’t seem to be any different now than I was when I was 13. It really depresses me because I know being a C student will not get me very far in life. (I haven’t even gotten to the upper-course math and science classes yet. I shudder to think how THAT will be.)
(At this point, I should probably add that I STILL don’t know what to major in, so I really have no drive to succeed if I don’t know what I’m aiming for.)
Anyway, sorry if I sound pathetic or whiney, but this is killing me. What’s the matter with me? I know I want to graduate college, but it’s like I turn my back for one minute and suddenly everything is on top of me and I can’t handle it all, simply because I never experienced handling a bunch of things at once. It would be so nice to finish college when everyone else in my family hasn’t, but I just can’t keep my head straight. Has anyone else ever gone through/is going through this problem? How do I get over 12 years of laziness to succeed in college? Thanks for your time. And please, no smartass remarks, I don’t need to feel worse about myself.
Best answer:
Answer by *another nickname* 
stop being a bad lazy student. Thats it.
What do you think? Answer below!
You need to get some help with your long-term goals and study habits. As you’ve noted, you have some deep-seated problems with focus and motivation. Does your community college offer a class or workshop like this? If so, get there *now*.
A lot of the trick is to set reasonable medium-term and short-term goals for yourself. Then figure out on a day-to-day basis how you’re going to handle these. Set a schedule for studying and stick to it: you need to train yourself that 7-10 pm is for learning things that will get you a career, not for daydreaming about winning one of those so-called “reality” shows.
You’ve already noted that you have a long, uphill climb: you punted off about 6 years when you were supposed to be learning this stuff. Now, you’ll just have to admit that you don’t have the skills — but go *get* the skills. You’re behind, but nobody says you have to stay there. AS long as you’re headed upwards, and towards your long-term goals, you’re doing okay.
So you’re need to pick up a few learning tools:
reading comprehension
study habits
goal-setting
time management
problem-solving skills
The fact that you’ve come here to ask for help is a very good sign. Now go to your school, your parents, or whomever, and start picking yourself off the pavement: you’re hardly academic road kill at age 20. If something doesn’t work find something else and try that. Take the surveys for learning styles and career interests. Try something that doesn’t take as much reading, such as ceramics.
Does any of this help?
I will tell you a story that will open your eyes.
First of all, I skipped two grades in Catholic school, which, is, almost, unheard of. I skipped 6th and 9th.
When I was in college, I was faced with a series of obstacles that you can not begin to imagine…I lost not only both of my parents, but also a dear friend, 89 years old, who I took care of, and her 21 room, mid-Victorian house. Plus, I also lost a job, actually two jobs along the way.
Somehow, I persevered, and graduated from college with High Honors. My GPA was an astounding 3.725. I was inducted into the History Honor Society, the Psychology Honor Society, the National Honor Society for General Academic Excellence, the Graduate Education Honor Society, and, the most thrilling, and most unexpected, induction into ‘Who’s Who Among Students in American Universities & Colleges.’
I come from a generation where college kids were known for partying (I guess they still are), and the movies and tv shows had young college co-eds living it up on the beach with their significant others and surfboards.
I, on the other hand, had a lot on my plate. a 20-something, going to school, full time in the evening, working full time during the day, and taking care of my elderly friend, while, at the same time, trying to cope with the loss of my parents.
If you want any sympathy from me, I’m sorry, but you are not going to get it.
I went though hell during that time, emotionally, financially, you name it, but, somehow, it also was the happiest time of my life.